Sammy and Emily both hear back from their sperm donor, Gerald, at the same time. And after meeting each other, they decide to meet Gerald together. And the chain of donor siblings meeting each other, each other's moms and Gerald, begins. Plus a rumination on the film The Kids Are All Right.
Sammy and Emily both hear back from their sperm donor, Gerald, at the same time. And after meeting each other, they decide to meet Gerald together. And the chain of donor siblings meeting each other, each other's moms and Gerald, begins. Plus a rumination on the film The Kids Are All Right
This is the sixth chapter of a big story that takes up most of Rashomon Season 2. You will hear multiple families telling every side of multiple stories, all having to do with the early days of sperm banks and how it effected the lives of the families that used them. From Season 2, Episode 2 onward, it is important to listen to them in order to get the full story.
Before you listen to this one, listen to:
S2E02: Sharon and Sammy
S2E03: Emily, Cathy and Nancy
S2E04: Cara, Susan and Carol Ann
S2E05: Sammy, Emily and Cara
and
S2E06: Rebecca, Matthew, Colette and Laura
Rashomon is produced and hosted by Hillary Rea
Thank you to Sammy Sass, Sharon Sass, Emily McGranachan, Cathy McGranachan, Nancy Smith, Cara Swan, Susan Swan, Carol Ann Dalto, Rebecca Doyle, Matthew Doyle, Colette Doyle and Laura Gold.
And a HUGE thank you to Anny Celsi for recording everyone in California. Please visit her website to learn about her music and her radio work!
Music in this episode is by Ben Chace and Paul Defiglia
Podcast artwork is by Thom Lessner
Theme music is by Ryan Culinane courtesy of the Free Music Archive
Rashomon is an independent podcast. Become a supporting member of this podcast over on Patreon: https://patreon.com/rashomonpod We have member levels beginning at $1/month
Check out our website: https://rashomonpodcast.com
Follow the podcast on Twitter and Instagram: @rashomonpod
Please share this podcast episode with a friend and/or subscribe to us, rate and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you for listening!
Hillary [00:00:09] You are listening to Rastaman, a podcast where one family tells every side of the same story. And I'm your host, Hillary Rea. And in this season, it's more than one family telling every side of more than one story. This is the sixth chapter of a story that begins with Season two, episode two. So make sure you go back and listen from the beginning before listening to this one. And now for this chapter: The Families Are All Right.
Hillary [00:00:41] Let's go all the way back to the family we met in the first chapter of this story, Sammy and her mom, Sharon. Here's a little recap. Sammy's 18, She finds out about her sperm donor on Christmas Day. She learns his name, Gerald, and gets his contact information and reaches out to him.
Sammy [00:00:57] The first or second, like straight up email that I get from Gerald has the subject line "photos of me." So I'm like thrilled right above almost anything else. I want to see a picture of this person. That's what I'm so interested in because I look so much like my birth mom.
Hillary [00:01:13] And now Sammy have the chance to see if she looks like this other person. And the email with the subject line "photos of me" had a photo attached.
Sammy [00:01:22] And this is back in the day in like 2008 or whatever. And so to open up an attachment, you have to like press download and like each line of the pictures shows up really slowly, you know what I mean? So I'm sitting there and the photo that's attached to this email is a picture of an infant. I'm talking like seven months old. Like what? It was just a photo of him as a baby. And it could have been like any white baby.
Hillary [00:01:54] In addition to the email, Gerald sent Sammy a letter.
Sammy [00:01:57] On stationery with like a blue border and his name up at the top, and I don't remember exactly what it says, but basically, like, I'm so glad to meet you. Tell me about you.
Hillary [00:02:08] Sammy remembers typing up a letter in response.
Sammy [00:02:11] And proofreading it and wanting it to be like this perfect letter and telling him about my family and a little bit about me.
Hillary [00:02:20] And in their back and forth exchange, Gerald sent Sammy a package.
Sammy [00:02:24] Like a padded envelope with a CD of pictures in it and pages where he explains each photo.
Hillary [00:02:31] Some of the pictures were of things like his grandparents' house and where he grew up and the lake that he used to go to with his family. But then there were others.
Sammy [00:02:40] One picture was him with his hair, like way out, like all over the place as a 20 something in a drama troupe where he was wearing a tutu.
Hillary [00:02:50] Alongside the photos were pages of descriptions.
Sammy [00:02:53] The way that he would describe these photos is like "On Hancock Street next to Ann's house." It was like, where's Hancock Street? Who's Ann, who are you talking about? Like, none of the scaffolding was there for me to understand. And I always thought that that was idiosyncratic of him. And then recently, a friend of mine said to me, she was like, you always talk about people and you never introduce who they are. So perhaps that's inherited.
Hillary [00:03:32] On that same Christmas Day, not very far from where Sharon and Sammy lived, Emily gets all of Gerald's contact info as well. And they exchanged letters.
Emily [00:03:41] And I kept it pretty minimal and just asking really for their health information.
Hillary [00:03:46] Emily kept a bit of a wall up. She knew he consented to their initial contact and an exchange of introductions.
Emily [00:03:53] But that didn't mean it was necessarily anything more than that.
Hillary [00:03:57] In his first letter, gerald told Emily he was thrilled to stay in touch, but needed time to sort through some personal things. But after a few months, he followed up.
Emily [00:04:06] He sent this massive pack of papers, like a manila envelope, like full. I don't even know if it was binded. It probably should have been. It was filled with photos of himself and his family through the years, and then there'd be captions. And so the caption was just like not at all helpful for someone who didn't know these people at all, because instead of saying, like, oh, this is me at this age and this is my cousin so-and-so, this is Aunt So-and-so, it would be like a story like "We're standing on the porch and in the back, you know, you can kind of see the TV. And there was this one time that we would all watch this movie together. And it was so great." And I was just like, what?
Hillary [00:04:41] After Emily received this package, she got an email with photos attached.
Emily [00:04:45] And I think it was just like a picture of his cats.
Hillary [00:04:57] After Emily and Sammy each contact Gerald, they learn about each other and that leads to them meeting and spending more time together that summer and then about a month into getting to know each other. It came time to make a plan for meeting Gerald, and they decide to do it together. So they make a plan to meet at Sammy's house.
Sammy [00:05:14] Gerald drives up to meet us and we host him at my family's house. And my brother and my sister were there and Emily and her mom's and my mom's made this beautiful lunch and we all got together and like, had this whole thing.
Hillary [00:05:29] On the way to Sammy's house, Gerald and his partner Dorothy get lost. Everyone who was at that first meeting, Emily and her moms Cathy and Nancy, Sammy and her mom Sharon, remember this and remember how Gerald and Dorothy were found.
Emily [00:05:42] Sammy and I actually met him like standing next to each other. We met him for the first time.
Cathy [00:05:46] They've gotten lost and they were trying on the phone, trying to get information.
Sammy [00:05:50] And so he called my cell phone and Sharon drove Emily and I out to go meet him where he was lost. Then we were on the side of this road and he just like basically ran over and gave us his hug. And he was just like running and so happy. And I was so nervous.
Sharon [00:06:07] And I can still picture the scene of the girls and Gerald getting out of the car. And Gerald was kind of dancing around. It was very sweet. To meet his daughters, you know. And so that is a very vivid picture in my mind of them hugging each other and kind of jumping for joy and finding each other.
Nancy [00:06:27] So we actually all went out to the street to meet them. And it was wintertime, actually, with late winter. But it was still we were all out there. It was like a mob scene. I just remember like grabbing Gerald and hugging him. I just loved him immediately. He was the prince Emily had dreamt up and what a wonderful guy. And everything was just so comfortable. This connection that we had was amazing.
Sammy [00:06:47] And then I remember Gerald pulled Emily and I aside and said, I'd like to talk to you girls, just the three of us. So we went outside into the backyard and we just talked. And that was probably the calmest that I felt that day. And I remember it the most clearly.
Hillary [00:07:05] And then Sammy remembers Gerald saying that there was something more serious that he had to tell them.
Sammy [00:07:10] And so I was getting ready to hear what he had to say. And he said there was a while when I lived in California and I lived on a school bus and there was a dog that we picked up and the police made up some lie about how the dog had belonged to someone and we stole the dog. And so the police raided the school bus and they found marijuana and I went to jail. I was like, wait, that's what you wanted to tell us? Like, that's cool. I don't care. But it was so endearing to me how nervous he was about telling us that and like, whether or not we would judge him. And I think Emily and I both, like, really wanted to be tender towards Gerald and also, like, could not have cared less that he was in jail for weed. We could not have cared less. So it was this very tender, like taking care of each other moment.
Hillary [00:08:15] At the end of that get together, Nancy remembers going outside and everyone was just...
Nancy [00:08:19] Grabbing and hugging like a long-lost family member, which finally felt like immediate, like family. There was no awkwardness in the room or anything. Just this gratitude. We were also grateful I know myself, for Gerald, for the kids because we wouldn't have the kids without him. But also because he was such a great donor dad. I mean, he was absolutely perfect. he was so good to them It's like it really made Emily's dreams come true and it brought all of us together.
Emily [00:08:50] At one point, I think Gerald was leaving possibly, and we're all kind of getting a little emotional and, you know, we're hugging him and just, you know, saying goodbye. And it was kind of hard to say goodbye then because it had been like this for 18 years of a buildup for this. And he had said, yeah, but, you know, not I'm not going anywhere. And that was like the perfect thing to say. That's right. I had spent years prepared for somebody to give me medical information and possibly meet me once, and my heart was ready for that and my family was ready for that. And so to meet somebody that our meeting a person wasn't the end of the journey, but rather the start of a whole new chapter in my life was amazing. And that he could recognize that, too. And he was so open for it to be the start of something, you know, that doesn't happen very often. People have complex lives. And so for that to be the case, you know, what are the chances?
Hillary [00:09:50] For Sammy's mom, Sharon, the intrigue of meeting Gerald was mostly around seeing what he looked like.
Sharon [00:09:56] Because I have this kid who looks like me, but once I met Gerald, it was like, whoa, she really looks like him. You know?
Hillary [00:10:02] Sharon was curious to hear some of the stories of his life because she liked learning about people.
Sharon [00:10:07] But it wasn't this strong, compelling desire to have to know that. That's my true answer. But once I knew got to know him, he's really nice. He was appropriately respectful to me and the other mothers. And he's he's a really nice guy.
Hillary [00:10:24] For Cathy, she was taken by how gently Gerald handled meeting Emily.
Cathy [00:10:28] You know, there was no pushing in any way. But it was just it was really I think he really did a nice job. I was really pleased with how he entered her life. Of course, I was really thankful that he helped me to have this beautiful child, but I couldn't think about either.
Hillary [00:10:46] And even though it was many years later, Cathy didn't want to relive her whole insemination process. And meeting Gerald in this way was a big reminder of it.
Cathy [00:10:56] It was just kind of awkward and uncomfortable for me. To me, it looked like everybody else was so thrilled. And so, I mean, I was thrilled for Emily. I was thrilled that she had siblings. That was the big thing for me, too. That was the biggest thing. I mean, I was just I was so thankful that he was willing to do this to help me have a child. You know, he didn't have to do it. Still, it was kind of like, I don't know, I just kind of needed to keep more distance from him than Nancy did or other people in our lives did, you know? But that's probably just some way to protect myself in some weird way. You know I'm not I don't know. So it's all a little strange and they're not like, I don't think about it a lot. So I don't really know how to put it into words because I probably haven't really explored all my feelings about all of that. A lot of it, when you really think about the process and some of that stuff was a little strange for me, but, you know.
Hillary [00:11:43] At the end of that summer, Emily starts her freshman year of college and Sami goes back for her sophomore year, and during their second semester, Gerald tells them about Cara.Sammy and Emily meet Cara at Bertucci's on their spring break. And shortly after that, Cara meets Gerald on her own. Gerald and Dorothy visit Cara at her school and they spend the day...
Cara [00:12:03] Walking around and we got lunch together. And then, you know, I had no idea how long they would want to stay, but we ended up spending, you know, the full day together. And it was great to just have all of that time with him. I remember calling my moms right before he was going to come. I was, you know, in my dorm room excited and nervous. And they were excited and nervous, too.
Hillary [00:12:28] The nervousness went away. And after a full day together, Cara returned to her dorm, not realizing how much time had actually passed.
Cara [00:12:35] They stayed for so long, I had no idea it had gotten really late. I called my moms afterwards and they were like, What happened to you? You know, you were with them for so long, like, how was it? And, you know, I did a full download of meeting him.
Hillary [00:13:03] Once Gerald met Cara, the big family gatherings started.
Cara [00:13:07] We had a big get together at Emily's mom's house.
Hillary [00:13:11] This was the first time that Cara's moms, Susan and Carol Ann met Gerald and the first time that everyone was together.
Cara [00:13:18] It was a big, you know, big thing.
Sammy [00:13:20] Then for a while, like every six months, we're having these big family reunions, like once in the summer and then once around Christmas time.
Susan [00:13:28] What really stands out for me was that Christmas that Cathy, Emily's mother, had invited us all to come to her house for for Christmas Eve. I think it was.
Hillary [00:13:40] Cara's mom, Susan remembers lots of holiday festivities like music, gifts...
Susan [00:13:44] And the, you know, chatting with the old folks and the young folks and just meeting each other. We didn't have a lifetime together. But, you know, it was like we did, you know, having our own experiences with our own families. It was like, you know, this is the same. It feels the same. You know, it was very comfortable and easy to be to become a part of it all. It was amazing. You know, it was like a family gathering. It was amazing in its ordinariness. I guess that's what I'm trying to say.
Hillary [00:14:20] Sammy's mom, Sharon, also has fond memories of the Christmases spent together, especially the ones at Cara, Susan and Carol Ann's house.
Sharon [00:14:28] It was just fun. We all just hung out. We sang songs together. We had a meal together and played games together. It was a nice feeling, as it still would be to have a gathering because we have this special bond. And no matter what anybody says, there is something to a biological bond like that. It's got its own energy to it. So sometimes we'd be there and I would just sit and look at those girls and see their similarities. It was fascinating to me.
Hillary [00:14:54] Sharon remembers watching all of the girls sitting at the kitchen table.
Sharon [00:14:57] And they all had the exact same gestures and mannerisms, like puppies kind of it was just this genetic thing. And I thought, that's not from me. That's from him. And there were things that I did not expect to see that they were so similar to each other, you know, and they didn't even know it. It's just the way they move their gestures, shapes of their faces. That was just an amazing thing to see.
Hillary [00:15:20] A big part of these family gatherings was looking at old photos like the baby photos of Emily, Sammy and Cara and shuffling them around and trying to guess who was who.
Cara [00:15:31] I mean, Sammy has dark hair, so it was pretty easy to pick out which ones were her. But facially, we all looked very similar. And then there were multiple times when at least I was looking at the pictures being like, I don't remember that happening or I don't recognize that background. And then realizing that it wasn't me, it was Emily,
Hillary [00:15:50] and it wasn't just about seeing how all of the siblings resembled each other. It was also figuring out what parts of them were present in Gerald and what parts of Gerald were true to what the midwife had shared with the moms.
Emily [00:16:03] What I had been told about Gerald from my mom. He's a runner, he was tall, he had blond hair and he had blue eyes. Gerald is of medium height. He has dark hair, dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. And he's not a runner, he was never a runner.
Sammy [00:16:18] It's harder for me to see with Gerald how much we look alike. I get it with our coloring and stuff and basic similarities. But I feel so much like I look like my birth mom that it's hard for me to see the Gerald connection. But I was hanging out with him probably two years ago and he smiled and I looked at him from the side and I thought, Oh my God, that's my face.
Emily [00:16:38] It's kind of the chin. That's what we got. And it's funny because like all of us have whatever that chin gene that Gerald carries, he carries it strong because all of us have it.
Hillary [00:17:16] In the summer of 2010, Emily has an internship with Collage. Collage is an organization that unites people who have LGBTQ+ parents and caregivers and empowers them to be skilled, self-confident and just leaders. And during her internship, the movie The Kids Are All Right, comes out in theaters.
Clip from The Kids Are All Right [00:17:35] (Not transcribed accurately) "Hey, don't be back. I know. I know. Come give us a hug before you go hug. Hug her. Which is there for. You thought you were making that call that could really hurt his feelings. How can you not even be curious about it? Each of my moms had a kid with your sperm..."
Hillary [00:17:52] The movie revolves around a lesbian couple and their children connecting with their sperm donor.
Emily [00:17:57] And so there was a lot of media around wanting to hear true stories of people contacting their donors.
Hillary [00:18:02] And People magazine reached out to Collage. And Emily and her moms and Gerald were featured in an article.
Clip from The Kids Are All Right [00:18:09] (Not transcribed accurately) "Donor dad? Stone called Fox. First of all, ew. And that's cool. And now we can move on. I want to see him again. You do?"
Hillary [00:18:21] And then over in Newton, Massachusetts, someone in the Gold-Doyle household picks up a copy of the magazine and sees the article.
Matthew [00:18:28] I forget who exactly did the digging.
Hillary [00:18:30] It was Matthew's mom, Laura.
Laura [00:18:32] One day I was reading People magazine, and I don't know if you recall that movie, The Kids Are All Right with Annette Bening and it was a horrible movie.
Hillary [00:18:41] I watched The Kids Are All Right in preparation for making this season of my podcast. And I agree with Laura. It's not a good movie. However, The Kids Are All Right has a 96 percent tomato meter by top critics on Rotten Tomatoes. And one of those top critics happens to be my dad. My dad. Steven Rea is a former film critic at the Philadelphia Inquirer. And when I mentioned this movie to him recently, he remembers loving it and giving it a glowing review for the paper. But after a bit of Googling, it turns out that my dad didn't review the movie at all. His coworker, Carrie Rickey, did. A very meta Rashomon moment for us all. Back to Laura and her opinions on the movie.
Laura [00:19:22] It was just so sad because they got so much right in the beginning. Like in the first five minutes, the kids are like, that's our family. And I love Annette Bening and Julianne Moore. But then they did this whole horrible thing about one of the women needing to look at male porn to have sex. I was like, what? Where did that come from? And also, you know, the she slept with the donor. I was just like, so unnecessary. So anyway, there was an article in People magazine and you know, how sometimes they have like an article and then they have a little sidebar and they had something called The Real Kids Are All Right. And there was a picture of Emily and this guy who we now knew the name Gerald. And I said to Collette, that's the guy, that's him. So we showed it to the kids.
Collete [00:20:10] And I think from that picture, Rebecca felt pretty comfortable contacting him.
Rebecca [00:20:14] Well, I think I did it not just for me, but also for my parents. I think that they wanted to thank him even though he wasn't a physical presence in our lives like they had me and my brother because of him.
Hillary [00:20:27] Rebecca didn't want to let Laura down in the sense that her mom had worked really, really hard to get the information needed for her and her brother to contact Gerald. So after the whole People magazine thing, she reached out to him.
Rebecca [00:20:40] I think I got his information from my brother. I'm not sure. But when I was in college, I was a sophomore and I wrote him a letter. And a few days after I sent the letter, I just started getting all these friend requests on Facebook from people I didn't know. And they didn't share my last name. They didn't share Gerald's last name so I was like I was very overwhelmed. And then I heard back from Gerald and I made the connection that I was also somehow related to these people that I didn't know. So the connection clicked then.
Emily [00:21:12] I got a call from Gerald that somebody else had contacted him. There was a set of twins and they were also had grown up in Massachusetts.
Sammy [00:21:18] The twins...How did we find out about the twins? Maybe I was talking to Gerald on the phone or something and he mentioned it.
Cara [00:21:26] And I remember Emily and Sammy called me while I was in the car with Carol Ann and they said, we have more siblings. And Carol Ann and I were, you know, very excited and wanted to know all about it.
Rebecca [00:21:42] I had sent in the letter so he knew my name and I must have told him or I went to college. And I guess that they must have searched my name and maybe my college and it came up. But that's really the only connection that I could think of that they would have been able to find me.
Hillary [00:21:58] These friend requests came from Emily and Sammy and Cara, and they did that without sending any private messages to explain to Rebecca who they were.
Rebecca [00:22:07] And then later on, there were messages saying, hey, you probably don't know who we are, but here's our connection to you. It was very overwhelming at first. And I think because they were excited and and I understand that completely. It was exciting to know that there are other people out there who are connected to me that I don't even know. So I totally understand why they were excited. But I think at first I was very overwhelmed by their excitement.
Collete [00:22:33] I'm sure in his excitement, he let the other sisters know that they'd found the other siblings. And what happened was I was at work and I got back in my office and I had messages from two other family members connected with the other siblings.
Hillary [00:22:49] And then soon after Collette was contacted, Laura learned that she had worked with Emily's mom, Cathy's first partner, Grace.
Laura [00:22:56] I worked with Grace, so I knew of Emily. I hadn't met her, but I knew they had had a kid, but I didn't know she was their half sibling.
Hillary [00:23:04] Laura and Collette were learning that it was not just about a connection to Gerald, but there were all of these other ways that everyone was connected.
Laura [00:23:11] That was also sort of quite a kick to, you know, have that information,
Hillary [00:23:16] After all, of the friend requesting and Facebook messaging, Laura remembers Rebecca getting a letter from Gerald.
Laura [00:23:23] And he sent this lovely packet of information outlining his life for us, for Rebecca really, and also sending pictures. And he writes beautifully.
Rebecca [00:23:35] It was a very nice letter, very sweet. And in the letter, he also included a CD. They had CDs back then... With a bunch of photos from his childhood and growing up with his family and then some current pictures of him. And it was great, like I got to know more about him before he got to know about me. And he was really open. And he said he didn't want to push it, a relationship between us. He said that it's up to you. You know, you can determine how little or how much contact you want with me. He wouldn't push it. And that really meant a lot to me.
Hillary [00:24:19] After Rebecca got in touch, Gerald made a plan to come and visit her and her moms.
Collete [00:24:24] He and his wife drove up, you know, a few hundred miles and spent the day with us at our home. And it was a very touching scene. It was time for him to arrive. And at that moment, Rebecca said she was going to take our dog for a walk. And I thought, well, she's probably nervous, but I felt like, no, you're not. But I didn't say anything. So she started down the street and she was turning the corner at the same moment that Gerald and his wife pulled up in front of our house and she turned around on her walk with the dog and started walking back. And he got out of his car and started walking toward her. And Laura and I were watching from the kitchen window. And as they got closer together, I just started crying.
Laura [00:25:04] And I remember Rebecca was out walking the dog and they got out of the car. Collette and I were sort of watching and we saw Rebecca go to meet them. And I'm pretty sure they hugged. And Collete and I were just watching from the window and it felt emotional to us. It was like, oh, wow. It's like, wow, it was just something. And then we met him. And, you know, right away you're looking for similarities. We didn't really see any with Matthew, but we saw that Gerald and Rebecca kind of laughed, not only similarly, but at the same kind of things. And there was definitely a connection there immediately, I think. I don't think Matthew had that connection at all.
Hillary [00:25:45] Matthew wasn't there for that meeting. He was away in California. And he may have been the first one to reach out for Gerald's information. But now that years had passed, he didn't feel the same need to be in touch with him. But when Gerald and his wife came to visit his family, he met them over Skype. But it...
Matthew [00:26:02] ...Wasn't really much of a conversation. You know, it wasn't like a long like one on one conversation. It was just I had an opportunity to to speak with him.
Hillary [00:26:13] The conversation wasn't long, but Matthew said it was good to finally meet him face to face after all those years. Plus, it sunk in that now there was a whole new extended family.
Matthew [00:26:27] It never occurred to me that I would have like half sisters or half siblings, like out there, I just kind of always thought it was Rebecca and I.
Hillary [00:26:41] Once Gerald connected with Rebecca, all four families made a plan to get together. Cara's mom, Carol Ann, remembers hosting at her and Susan's house.
Carol Ann [00:26:49] We had some events at our house. You know, we had like a big reunion where the five kids and the parents and, you know, it was a lot of fun.
Rebecca [00:26:57] It was just a big, great family gathering. And they're all lovely, lovely, very welcoming. I feel very fortunate to be one of them. The clan.
Laura [00:27:09] I think, you know, when we met the mothers, there was all this sort of sharing of our individual stories. But what struck me was how similar they were. And I think that's what created more of a feeling of warmth and connection. So it was really just nice, like, oh, you were going through that? Oh, yeah, we knew that. Yeah. You know, those kind of things. I think it was very similar because we all sort of had kind of the same kind of education, the same kind of jobs we all were economically, more or less the same. There were a lot of similarities. And then there were similarities of having been a lesbian couple and a lesbian family.
Clip from The Kids Are All Right [00:27:51] (Not transcribed accurately) "Laser. Your mom and I sense that there's some other stuff going on in your life. We just want to be let in. What do you mean? Are you having a relationship with someone? You can tell us, honey, we would understand and support you. Look, I only met him once. What do you mean once? Did he find you online? Wait, wait, wait. Who did you meet once? Paul. Paul met with Joni. Why was Joni there? She set it up. Forget the set up. Who's Paul? Our sperm donor. Did you guys think I was gay? No. No way."
Hillary [00:28:31] Sammy, Emily, Cara, Matthew and Rebecca had their own individual experiences of meeting Gerald and their own individual experiences of meeting each other and spending time together.
Matthew [00:28:44] I remember it was it was a very comforting feeling. Meeting them for the first time, but still feeling like we had known each for so many years.
Rebecca [00:29:01] Meeting them, it was never awkward, it was always immediate, like welcoming and warmth, almost like we had known each other our whole lives, you know, there was never that moment where you don't belong or we don't speak to you. It was always very, very welcoming. I mean, I always felt like they cared about me and I've never felt like go away or anything.
Cara [00:29:24] Since we've become adults, having siblings has been probably the greatest gift that I could have. Besides having Gerald, you know, be the person that he is and being so excited. I mean, his picture on Facebook is a picture of all of us with him.
Emily [00:29:45] And Gerald is just a joy of a human, just a joyful person.
Cara [00:29:50] And Gerald just couldn't be happier. He wants to get to know us. It's just the total opposite, I think, of what at least I was preparing myself for.
Emily [00:30:05] Like, I just never associated that, like he would be so thrilled, his wife would be so thrilled and I just did not anticipate that.
Sammy [00:30:11] And he's an extremely tender person, just very respectful of the fact that my family is my family. And he's as much as he's kind of invited into our lives, it's like that's the bonus and that's the gift.
Clip from The Kids Are All Right [00:30:31] (Not transcribed accurately) "Is this a good time to talk? Yeah, no, this is great. So how are you? How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm sort of windy at the cryo bank talking about maybe. Oh, yeah. Well, actually, my brother asked if I call you because I'm 18 and he's only 15, just, you know, which is too young to call. Anyway, he'd like to meet you, you know, if you want to. Your brother. Yeah. Well, well, technically he's my half brother. Each of my moms had a kid with them. With your daughter, like in both of them. Yeah, I can too. I can go. Oh right. Right, right on."
Hillary [00:31:21] Rashomon is produced by me Hillary Rea. Music in this episode is by Ben Chase and Paul DeFiglia. Theme music is by Ryan Cullinane, courtesy of the Free Music Archive. Podcast artwork is by Thom Lessner. Special thanks to Annie Celsy. She recorded all of the audio out on the West Coast with Collette, Laura, Matthew and Rebecca. And thank you to my dad, Steven Rea, for allowing me to mention our Rashomon esque phone conversation. He wants me to add that even though he didn't review, The Kids Are All Right, it did make it on to his list of the ten best movies of 2010. Please consider becoming a member of Rashomon's Patreon. You can join for as little as one dollar a month. And depending on your membership level, you get a monthly behind the scenes newsletter, bonus audio content and more. Head over to Patreon. If you are into Twitter or Instagram, you can find the show on both platforms. And we have a website, Rashomon podcast dot com. If you like what you hear, please rate and review us on Apple podcasts and subscribe, follow, get notifications on whatever podcast listening platform you use, we're on all of them. You can also help spread the word by grabbing a friend's phone and adding the show to their podcast feed. Word of mouth is our best resource. OK, that's all for now. We'll be back in two weeks with a new episode. Thanks for listening.