Hillary talks with astrologer and poet Heidi Rose Robbins about her writing, the definition of identity, the progressed moon and much much more.
After deep diving into David Whyte and spending more time learning about astrology, Hillary adds a whole new layer to her definition of identity and the role it plays with storytelling. Listen to Hillary's conversation with astrologer and poet Heidi Rose Robbins and explore the idea of asking more beautiful questions of yourself and others and how storytelling can do just that!
Additional reading/listening:
Dear Listener,
Make sure you listen to all of the previous Season 3 episodes for listening to this one. This is a serialized story.
Thanks,
Hillary
Rashomon is produced and hosted by Hillary Rea
Additional music in this episode is by Liz Delise
Rashomon theme music is by Ryan Culinane courtesy of the Free Music Archive
Rashomon's album art is by Thom Lessner
This episode of Rashomon is sponsored by Tell Me A Story, a communication consulting and coaching business that trains entrepreneurs, leaders and change makers to use the art of storytelling as a powerful communication tool. Learn more about working with Hillary 1-on-1 in one of TMAS' Crafting Your Narrative programs.
Hillary [00:00:09] You are listening to Rashomon, a podcast where one family tells every side of the same story. This season, I, your producer and host, Hilary Rea, tell every side of my story, from the story I tell myself. To the story others tell about me, to the story that I want to tell you, dear listener.
Hillary [00:00:38] During my first few weeks of quarantining at home in the middle of a global pandemic, I turned to audiobooks like Jessica Simpson's Open Book, which I mentioned in Episode 2. And I turned to live streams of exercise classes, tuning in from home, wishing I was with my instructors and classmates in person. I had an experience where twice in one week, I heard two different exercise instructors reference a quote by David Whyte, I had never heard of him before this moment. Both teachers said Whyte's name while I was doing jumping jacks or burpees, sweating and yelling. They said his name and then paraphrased a quote of his: ask a more beautiful question, of yourself and of others.
Hillary [00:01:36] A week or so later, I attended a group gathering on Zoom, led by astrologer and poet Heidi Rose Robbins, and she said David Whyte's name and brought up that same quote: ask a more beautiful question. So, of course, I went down a David Whyte rabbit hole. Who is this guy? And I read his books, Crossing the Unknown Sea and Consolations back to back. Consolations is subtitled The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words, each short chapter explores one word. The beautiful question quote comes from his chapter on the word solace. He writes:.
David Whyte quote [00:02:25] Solace is the art of asking the beautiful question of ourselves, of our world or of one another in fiercely difficult and unbeautiful moments. To look for solace is to learn to ask fiercer and more exquisitely pointed questions, questions that reshape our identities and our bodies and our relation to others.
Hillary [00:02:51] The year 2020 was the year when I started asking more beautiful questions of myself. What is my identity? How do my stories shape it? Is it the stories I tell myself? The stories other people tell about me? The stories I choose to tell other people? Clutching Millicent Wimbleberry: The Early Years in its clear plastic report sleeve with the blue plastic binding, I thought a lot about this character, a version of myself that I put down on paper at age 10. Was she my inner self? And is my inner self different from the stories that I tell myself? What happens when I share my inner self with other people? Beautiful question after beautiful question, I continued to look for answers. I looked for answers in my live stream exercise classes, in Jessica Simpson's audiobook, episodes of the television series Last Man on Earth, and in the book Millicent Wimbleberry: The Early Years.
Hillary [00:04:00] I looked for answers in astrology, something I had dabbled in over the past few years after my mom handed me a card that her friend Kim had given her when I was born that outlined my natal chart, explaining everything that it meant. When I started to look for answers through astrology, I connected dots between my own astrological chart and my identity. When I started working on this season of Rashomon, I knew that I wanted to dig into astrology further, and so I reached out to Heidi Rose Robbins.
Hillary [00:04:37] Heidi Rose Robbins is an astrologer, host of The Radiance Project podcast, which I have been fortunate enough to be on as a guest. She is author of Zodiac Love Letters and two books of poetry. Heidi grew up with an astrologer father and an architect mother. Her father taught her the Zodiac with her ABCs and her mother taught her to love art and appreciate the beauty of the natural world. She likes to call herself a poet with a map of the heavens in her pocket. Her passion is to inspire and encourage us all to be our truest, most authentic, radiant selves, using the tools of astrology and poetry. And with our conversation, I did my best to ask beautiful questions of Heidi.
Hillary [00:05:30] For anyone that's listening that might not know anything about astrology or know anything about esoteric astrology or that aspect of your work and your creativity, can you give a like whatever version you would think we would need to know to understand?
Heidi [00:05:45] I came to esoteric astrology through a lineage, right. I was born into this. My father is an esoteric astrologer. And so it very much became a language that I was always listening to and eventually got interested in. So it wasn't you know, I hear so many stories of people saying, oh, and then I found it and I researched it and I dove in and I made it mine. And, you know, for me, it was just crept up on me in a way, you know. And always from the beginning, my father would speak about sole purpose and why are we here really? And would often speak with us when we were kids about reincarnation and the fact that we're on a very long journey and that astrology is just a beautiful tool to help us understand who we are. I mean, a horoscope is a map of the heavens, the moment that you were born. Right? And esoteric astrology is simply soul centered astrology, where we look at the horoscope and we look at it from the soul perspective. So we say, why am I here? What is my soul purpose? How can I best give my gift instead of perhaps some of the questions like, you know, will I be rich? Will I when will I find my partner? I mean, of course, we're all curious about finding partners and such. And that's a beautiful thing. But soul centered astrology takes it to another level and says, how can I really fulfill my purpose, my my beautiful offering in this world? And it gives you tools to do so.
Hillary [00:07:09] Can I ask a little bit more about like what are some of those tools that can help us understand the soul aspect of it? And I love your philosophy around living in your radiance and a radiant life. Like, what are the tools that we have to do that?
Heidi [00:07:26] Well, I would say the simplest tool that is quite different when it comes to esoteric astrology is to look at the rising sign. And the rising sign is the sign that was at the horizon the moment that you took your first breath. And so it actually is rising in you. It's the energy that is rising in you. And we also call this point the ascendant. So if we can learn this and most people don't know it, although I will say even in the last couple of years, the numbers of people understanding their astrology and growing to know their chart, it's crazy how they're growing. Right. But if we know the rising sign, it can be quite, quite different than our sun sign. But it is what is beckoning within us. And we all need to listen to what is beckoning. We all need to have a horizon that we're working towards, that we're moving towards. So we're not just stagnant or stuck or doing the same thing over and over again. So if we know a rising sign and we know the planets that are most associated or we call them ruling that rising sign, we start to realize that these these specific planetary energies are available to us and the rising sign's energy is available to us so that we might grow in consciousness and love and give of ourselves more fully. So those are little hints that we have immediately when you start to study esoteric astrology.
Hillary [00:08:49] And how do you use these tools for yourself?
Heidi [00:08:54] My dad always used to talk about... I mean, recently I was actually just listening to a podcast that I did with him. I interviewed him on my own podcast. And I just replayed that recently. And I was so moved by it because he said, you know, and he's quite a philosopher and he's quite brilliant. And he said, you know, none of this is worth anything unless we learn to treat one another better, that we use this tool to treat one another better. And he also spoke about and I love this idea that we all have an inner name. Like if I said, hey, you know, what's your true name? What's your inner name? It's so evocative. And it's so like it gives permission for poetry and it gives permission for us to breathe something new into who we are. Not just I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm a teacher, I'm an astrologer. But I am a molten lava love core that wants to ripple out into the world, you know, or whatever it is. Right. So for me, astrology is this beautiful, introspective tool. I mean, I'm Leo rising. Right. So Leo rules the heart. Leo is ruled by the sun. So I'm always feeling into how can I be more Leo in my life so that it benefits others and how can I be gentler with myself as I grow in this Leo energy? Because there's so many stages along the way where we get, you know, misled or we get confused. But how can I keep gently growing myself in this Leo energy? So I'm always just asking the same questions over and over again and seeing what my answer is today.
Hillary's Sun, Moon, Rising sign snapshot recorded by Heidi Rose Robbins [00:10:32] Hi, Hillary, this is Heidi Rose Robbins, I'm so happy to get a chance to do this snapshot for you. We're going to take a look at your Sun, Moon, and Rising sign. And those are the three most important positions, though, of course, not the only positions in your chart, but this is a start for sure. What's interesting for you, Hillary, is that you also have Taurus rising, so you're not only a Taurus, but you have Taurus rising and in fact, you're very earthy because your moon is in Capricorn. So three major earth signs in the three major positions. What's interesting is one of the ruling planets of Taurus is Venus. And you have the planet Venus in Aries. And this is really the entrepreneurial sign. Not only do you have Venus in Aries, but your Sun, which is in Taurus, is also in the Aries house or first house. So you have this real energy of the entrepreneur. And clearly you are you know, you founded a company and you're a leader and you're teaching and you're forging new terrain. And what's interesting about the Venus in Aries is, yes, it's the pioneer, but it's in the 12th House, which is the house of the imagination. Plus another energy that really qualifies the Taurus energy is you have Mercury in Gemini. That is the storyteller par excellence. Mercury is the messenger. Gemini is language, communication, writing, speaking, connecting, bridge building. Mercury loves to be in Gemini and it tells its stories and it connects with people through through language. So that's lovely. Now your moon is in Capricorn, so moon in Capricorn people are ultra responsible. There's a sense of wisdom from a young age or a sense of drive and ambition and accomplishment. So it's said that Capricorns get younger as they get older, so they get more spontaneous and playful as they get older. It's an it's a it's a cool moment, my friend.
Hillary [00:12:40] I know that I came to you in a time in my life where I it wasn't so much that I was asking the question, who am I? But I was almost so sure of who I was and what I was meant to do and what my deep desires were and my purpose, like I felt so sure of it, but I didn't see it in my like what was coming to fruition for me in life at that moment that I wanted validation or I wanted like a deeper understanding of why I felt so sure or felt so driven or connected to myself in this way. And when I first went to you and I did a snapshot of my Sun, Moon, Rising, I didn't I don't I didn't know what any of that meant. But I, I listened to that recording. I, I was crying. I was weeping like I was sitting there weeping because it really did tell me that what I was feeling, what I was focused on, how I believed in myself and viewed myself was true in this aspect. I'm curious is that something that happens often has or has happened for you, either for yourself or people that you've worked with?
Heidi [00:13:49] That's why I do what I do, actually, to have those moments where people are validated in their inner knowing of themselves because we often know something. It's just this little whisper. And there are so many ways to dismiss it and so many ways to say, oh, I'm not really that, but I think I am, but I think I am. And the minute some stranger comes in and looks at your chart and says, gosh, look at this, you are a writer, you are whatever it is, you know, there is this relief, there's this exhale, and then there's excitement and momentum. You know, in my own experience, for example, I would say that there was a moment in where there have been many moments in my life where I was in more of a Saturn Sun phase, where I would say, oh, I would just sort of sit on my own initiatives or like, I don't know if you can do that. Don't step forward. You might be squashed. You might be rejected. You know, Saturn on the Sun can be quite oppressive. But I would always say to myself, but you're Leo rising. You're Leo rising. So even it can be an inner pep talk or an outer pep talk. And I love to give the outer pep talk. I love to say I see you and I love holding people's potential and just being the cheerleader on the sides that say, don't forget about this part of your chart. So, yeah, I would say it's I wouldn't say it's a common thing, but I would say it's a beautiful... I particularly look forward to those moments with clients when they're like, oh, thank you. Yes. That's this is so validating to what I already know within.
Hillary [00:15:22] And I know that sharing stories is a big aspect of this. I mean, people that come to you have to share, especially in a one on one session, have to share stories from their life. And then I know, like I have heard you on your podcast, The Radiance Project, sharing stories, how does storytelling play a role for you both personally and creatively and also connected to this work and to astrology?
Heidi [00:15:45] One of the beautiful things about being an astrologer is, you're right, like I get to hear unbelievable stories, right? Like in one day I talk to a woman who is a dog musher and a woman who works with nuclear weapons. You know, it's like, you know, so I get to hear the stories of lives that are amazing. And I'm always moved by how the story we come in with and then how we lead our lives in a way to either outgrow that story or amplify that story. And so I feel like I'm maybe a story whisperer where the story is being told, every person's life is a story. And I just say, you know, maybe that turn in the road up there holds some jewels for you. So I feel like I just am the one along the way that whispers. And I suppose in my own life, my storytelling has mostly come through poetry. And I think a poem is a very short story that somehow captures a tiny moment in time. That is a tiny story that can often be deeply revelatory or deeply life changing. And so I like to tell tiny, tiny stories, minute moment stories.
Hillary [00:16:56] Can you tell me more about your poetry and your first memory of writing poetry and and how it's connected to everything else that you do?
Heidi [00:17:07] I think I've always been writing poetry. I do have a very vivid memory of my father encouraging me to sit at the piano because I used to take piano lessons and I was very little. I think I must have been I don't know, seven or eight. And he was like, well, just improvise, you know? And so I started to do very moody music and then I just started to kind of find myself writing a poem and improvise. So both it wasn't a song, but it was like a poem with music, you know. And so I've always been writing poetry. I had a best friend in in middle school and we would come home after school and write poetry together. Gosh, as I'm saying this and realizing, I also recited, like all through high school, I was always a part of the group, I can't remember what it was called, but it was a branch of the debate club and I would go off to the different schools and I loved doing that. And I did well at it. But as far as writing poetry, I think David Whyte was a huge inspiration to me when I heard him speak for the first time and I thought, oh, I love how he's doing this. You know, he is weaving it into inspiration. So he was a huge inspiration. Mary Oliver was a huge inspiration and me taking myself away on a on a solo retreat to Ojai when my son was a tiny baby and just saying, all right, I'm listening. And and then it was in that moment that I really started to have sort of very full downloads of poetry. And I would say that that's been going on for the last 10 or 12 years now, making space for the new voices that want to come through. And my poetry. I guess what I would say to you Hillary is just, you know, it's very much about identity and and love and breaking through obstruction to learn to love more,
Hillary [00:18:47] Can you elaborate a bit more on what you mean about it being connected to identity?
Heidi [00:18:52] I think I ultimately and it's a very Leo question, it's a very Leo rising question, I think whenever I end up on the page. I am really asking myself in the moment, well, who am I now? Who am I now? Who am I in this very moment? And sometimes I have to write through a bunch of garbage before I really get there. And I think writing for me is a process of moving through the obstruction. I often always have to sort of say, oh, I'm sad, I'm tired. I'm you know, and it takes several pages. But then I arrive in a quieter place. So I'm always asking, well, who am I now and how can I communicate this experience of self and selfhood? Because, of course, there are all different experiences of selfhood. And a Leo at at her best has a vastness and a generosity of self that includes many selves. So I also hope when I'm writing my poetry that it's a universal thing and that I'm speaking to all of our little struggling selves.
Hillary [00:19:53] I wanted to ask you about the progressed moon and the workbook around it, because when I first found out about it and heard you talk about it on your podcast, I heard you tell stories from your life, like using the progressed moon as a guide or a way to reflect on those experiences and connect them to where you are now. That might not be the right way to talk about it, but that's what I heard. But I would love to know a little bit more about what the progressed moon is and what that process is like through your eyes, of the storytelling connection.
Heidi [00:20:26] Yeah. So whenever I do a chart for somebody, I will spend a big chunk of time on their natal chart, which is their birth chart, which is where the planets were the moment that they were born. And I also spend a good chunk of time on the transiting chart, which is where the planets are in the heavens right now and how they are affecting the natal birth chart. But then there's also what's called the progressed chart. And the progressed chart is a chart that astrologers actually create based on the hundred days after you were born. So it's this fascinating unfolding of your natal chart. So what we do is we equate one day of your life with one year of your life. And so where all the planets were on, let's say day four of your life has a resonance with the entire year four of your life. So I know it starts to be a little bit technical, but let's just put it this way. The progressed sun moves forward one degree for every year you've been alive. So it spends 30 years in a sign. So when your progressed sun is in a sign, it's really in a sign for 30 years. Right. But the progressed moon moves forward one degree for every month you've been alive. So you get to have these cycles of two to two and a half years where you're spending time in a particular energy. And I love this because it means you get to go back through your life and these two to two and a half year cycles and you get to experience each sign of the Zodiac in order. And they're all antidotes for one another and they all carry with them certain experiences. So I cannot tell you, for example, the number of women who have gotten pregnant under the progressed moon cancer, the number of people who have moved to a new city or state under the progressed moon in Cancer, the number of people who've met partners under the progressed moon in Libra, the number of people who have had deaths or losses or huge healings or huge psychological revelations under Scorpio. So in this podcast, which I'm glad you reminded me of, I went through my life and I sort of said, look, all the way from age eight or 10, I can tell you about these two to two 1/2 half year cycles. And it becomes a story like you're saying, and you can really feel the shift. And even as I speak to you right now, I think today I think tomorrow my progressed moon is moving for for the first time in two and a half years. And I'm always so moved by that because it opens the door to a whole new experience and a whole new opportunity to dance with the energies of that shift.
Hillary [00:22:59] How does the workbook work if someone listening were wanting to use this workbook to look back in time and reflect on all of these life experiences, how does it work?
Heidi [00:23:09] You know, you order the workbook and you give us your birth time, place and date, exact time, place and date. We create your chart and then we we list for you exactly when the moon moved into a particular sign and when it moved out. And so you get to look back at these very specific dates and then you'll also know just enough about each sign. You don't have to know a ton about each sign to get a flavor. Right. So one of the most dramatic shifts for example is from the progressed moon in Pisces to the progressed moon and Aries, because Pisces rules endings and Aries rules beginnings and Pisces rules letting go and Aries rules bounding forth. Right. So you look, you go, you sort of spend time and you look at these chapters of your life and you start to see the story that you are writing with your life. And also, another fascinating thing about the progressed moon that you'll find is that as you move into new signs, you meet people of that sign, they enter it more than usual, and they become teachers and lovers and friends. And you're like, oh, my gosh, of course you're a Capricorn. My progressed moon just moved into Capricorn. You know, it's fascinating when you start to go into it more deeply.
Hillary [00:24:17] We touched on identity a little bit already, but I would love to know, and this can be a rumination. It doesn't have to be a succinct definition. What is identity to you?
Heidi [00:24:28] Well, that's that's a beautiful question. It's a question about what is the true self. Right? So is the personality in the world the true self or is there a self that is greater than that? And my dad wrote a book called The Infinitization of Selfhood. And so really, that's his main question. What is the I when we talk about I? And he actually writes the capital letter, I like an infinity symbol upright. So the I is eternal, the I is vast. And what I think what we all need to keep doing is increasing or what would I say, like a magnifying our idea of the I. So on one hand, we can tell our own little story. But there are times when we're telling our own little story where we suddenly recognize, like if you're telling a story in a in an auditorium and suddenly you recognize that the energy in the room is shifted. And we've become one great listening body and it's who's telling the story and who's listening. And this idea of the I that becomes the we. And I mean, I guess for me, when we talk about identity, we talk about the soul self and we talk about like I was speaking about earlier, the inner name, the inner song, the soul self that that goes on and tries on all these different personalities throughout our journey. But, you know, that's a huge and gorgeous question that all metaphysicians and philosophers and, you know, astrologers ask.
Hillary [00:26:02] And do you have a moment in your life or like one glimmer, image from your life where you really feel like you were like you found your identity or you landed on that definition because of the circumstances that you were in or what you something you discovered?
Heidi [00:26:20] I think maybe again, because I'm a Leo rising with the sun in the 9th house, which is the house of the spiritual path in the house of the teacher. I think a lot of those moments have come for me when I am offering my poetry or speaking to a group where I can just get out of my own way and something lighter, something more spacious starts to move through. And when in those moments where I remember there was a time where I would always write my talks, you know, I write them out might be very, very and when I would teach, my syllabus would be just so thorough. There was a moment where I dared myself when I was going to give a talk. I was like, OK, you're stepping away from the podium and you have an idea, but you're not going to use your notes. And I would say that that was a true moment of feeling in my true selfhood, offering my truest gift, getting out of my own little personality way and letting the true I shine forth.
Hillary [00:27:20] Do you remember the event itself? The room, like who was there, all of that?
Heidi [00:27:25] Yeah. And I'm kind of lucky because I got to... My father... I'm talking a lot about my dad today, but he started a conference like thirty three years ago that is very much about astrology and cosmology and metaphysics and soul centered everything. So in in the grand tradition of nepotism, I got to speak at this conference early on. So starting in my late 20s, I, I started to speak and it was really a training ground for me. And so every year I would sort of dare myself into new territory and also the. People that would come would often be a similar crowd and they would watch me kind of grow up and reflect back what was working, what wasn't, you know. But yeah, so I do remember it was very I do remember where I was and how I was received. And I was in the audience and also that feeling of having dared myself into the new terrain and how joyous that felt and how liberating that felt.
Hillary [00:28:22] I think what you said about the I and and what you said about your father making the infinity sign, like I think often and I've I've felt this myself and I've had, like, the people I work with say this to me like that it can be self-indulgent or selfish or egocentric to share stories or to look at something that you wrote a long time ago and explore it or explore the deeper soul meaning of who we are. But I agree with you in that it explodes the to the universal and that it really helps everybody become a better person and and move through the world with kindness and openness. And so I think I'm in a place now too where I feel ready and and willing to share more of these stories. And it's hard for me. It was hard for me to look at this book I wrote when I was 10 and was like, this is so silly. Like, why would this matter? But it does matter. And I think trusting that it matters and your already deep knowing that there is a bigger purpose for sharing moreI.
Heidi [00:29:28] I mean, think about how we feel from the time we're a child. When somebody says, I'm going to tell you a story, I mean, everything in us just quiets down and we breathe differently and we feel taken care of. And we feel in a sense of wonder, we need oh my goodness, we need stories. It's one of the most loving acts, I think, to tell a story that is a story for the for the people that have gathered. You know, it is a gift. A story is a gift.
Hillary [00:29:58] I'm curious, is there either like a piece of writing or an artifact from your childhood that you discovered as an adult that you gained new perspective on because of the work that you do now and because of who you are now?
Heidi [00:30:16] That's a that's a good question. I mean, I kept a journal from the time I was 10, so I have, you know, 40 books of scribbles. And so I'm always coming upon sections of of those where I feel like I'm asking the exact same question now as I was asking then. And I'm like, oh, God, I've been on this journey much longer than I thought. I thought I was only working on the last couple of years. You know, I did find this little notebook and I might have mentioned this in the podcast that we were just speaking about with my dad, but I did find this notebook of his where he took notes about me as a little girl from through my astrology. And that blew my mind because he they were very thorough notes. And it was about 40 pages of like looking at how my chart was showing up when I was five. And so to see those seeds and to see how they've manifested now was fascinating.
Hillary [00:31:12] One last question I want to circle back to, because I used the words radiant life, but I would like to know what that means, like if you could expand on it and what it means to you. And I know that it's connected to things that we've already talked about as well.
Heidi [00:31:27] Radiance for me has been an ongoing theme. And it started, I think, when I was 20 years old and my dad wrote me a letter. And at the end of the letter he said it was a letter he was really trying to cheer me up because I was not happy. And he said, never compromise your true radiant self. And in that moment, I was like, oh, I just needed that. And so radiance came into for me in that window. And then I have a beautiful teacher named Sofia Diaz who embodies radiance and talked about Radiance a lot in her work with us. She's a yoga practitioner, but so much more. And this theme of Radiance and rising has so much to do with Radiance has been so powerful. And then about also about 13 or 14 years ago, I went on a tour that I called the Hello Love Tour, and it was very much about offering our love as radiance and seeing love and seeing the light in each person we meet. And so, you know, everything that I'm doing currently is sort of under the umbrella of radiance. And I would just say how I've grown in this is that for me, radiance isn't just about blasting light. It's not about efforting in any way. It's not about being like I'm so light, I'm so light. If anything radiance comes out of facing our darkness and facing our obstruction and facing our sadness. There are these wonderful books called The Alice Bailey Books, which the Tibetan teacher Djwal Khul has worked with Alice Bailey in these books. And he has this definition of service, which I love, where he says that true service is when we are spontaneously offering the expression of the soul. And so I almost think when we are spontaneously offering our true soul expression, that is when we are most fully radiant and radiance is inductive. Right. So it if I'm lighted then and you're in my presence, it's a good it's a good chance you're going to be your little sparks going to grow too, do you know. So it's this ripple effect. And I guess I'm just deeply interested in how we can all become lighter, more conscious and more loving.
Hillary [00:33:36] And even in the way you describe this, like I had this weird, like mind Rolodex of like going back to like I can land on moments where I felt what you just described. And I know I shared one on your podcast, but I just landed on more. And so I think too like as it connects to storytelling, I think that's a really beautiful thing to tap into to find the stories worth giving voice to as well.
Heidi [00:34:03] Yeah. And I mean, I think that the minute someone starts to tell a story, like when I think about somebody telling a story, it's almost like I feel like a spotlight come down around them. And it's like the power of attention, the power of magic happening in this light and that the light is just rippling out. I don't know, I. When you're telling a story from a soul centered place as a gift for all that is that is total radiance.
Hillary [00:34:53] Knowing that Heidi kept journals from a very early age, I had to ask whether or not she had any writing from around the age of 10 that she could share as part of this episode. To continue this tradition in the spirit of Millicent Wimbleberry: The Early Years, Surabhi Lal's book Anna's Trip to Mars and Priya Olapally Wellington's book Courtney White: The True Story, here are two childhood poems by Heidi Rose Robbins.
Heidi's Poetry Audio Book [00:35:22] So I have a little black book in front of me that I think I had when I was 10 years old and I have four little stanzas, all of which are darker than most of my usual poetry at the time. But I thought I would share them for their dramatic content. So 10 years old, my four little poems. Dark, Cold, Scary, a mind in which you can never break loose. Listen through the trees I hear a noise. Scary, but what can I why can I not keep away? What shall I do for guidance? Beginning of the world, black, dark, where should I begin? Gradually, light comes through. Nothing is there. Just silence, nothing there at all. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. Nothing.
Heidi's Poetry Audio Book [00:36:16] So, Hillary, here's another possibility. This is from my little black book. There are two little poems. One of them is called How to Make a Teardrop and How to Make a Rainbow. And on the other side of the page, by the way, there's just one little thought and it says: thoughts. And then there's an equal mark. Thoughts equal mark, I get scared over nothing. That was my revelation. But how to make a teardrop. Number one find something to make you unhappy, two let a tear ease slowly but carefully out. Three when you do let the tear roll down and down your cheek. Four let it tumble and tumble till it reaches the bottom. How to make a rainbow. Number one find the colors you need from plants or bushes. Two even if you have to stretch over thorn bushes. Three mix them all together and gather them up. Four then jump with all your might and throw them into the air. Then you've got a rainbow.
Hillary [00:37:20] In Consulations, there is a chapter called Self-knowledge. In it, David Whyte writes:.
David Whyte quote [00:37:26] Self-knowledge includes the understanding that the self we want to know is about to disappear. What we can understand is the way we occupy this frontier between the known and the unknown. The way we hold the conversation of life. The figure we cut at that edge. But a detailed audit of the self is not possible and diminishes us in the attempt to establish it. We are made on a grander scale. Half afraid of ourselves, half in love with immensity's beyond any name we can give.
Hillary [00:38:05] I am strategic, a maximizer, an activator. I am discipline and communication. I am a storyteller, I am My Book About Me and Millicent Wimbleberry: The Early Years. I am a Taurus Sun, Taurus Rising and Capricorn Moon.
Hillary [00:38:36] I am the stories that I choose to tell you, dear listener.
Hillary [00:38:58] Rashomon is produced and hosted by me, Hilary Rea. A huge thank you to Heidi Rose Robbins for taking the time to give beautiful answers to my beautiful questions. You can order your Progressed Moon workbook. You can book an astrological snapshot or a one on one session with Heidi. Read her Moon notes. Listen to her podcast and so much more on her website, which is https://heidirose.com. Music in this episode is by Elizabeth Delise. You can find the links to Elizabeth's music and their band in the show notes of this episode. All right. This is the end of season three. It's been a fun ride. If you agree, please share this season with a friend and you can always go back and listen again to this season and seasons one and seasons two. Thank you so much for listening.